chili

1lb pork sausage
1lb ground turkey
1 green pepper
1 yellow onion
1/2 lb black beans
1/2 lb red beans
1 lb pinto beans
2 clove garlic
1 jalepeno
chili powder
28 oz canned tomato
16 oz southwest (spicy) canned tomato
cumin
pepper
salt
cinnamon
curry
basil
pepper
garlic powder
cayenne pepper

starting over...

i have a hard time believing that anyone really loves me, because i was told growing up that no one ever would; that i was unloveable...

todays dream: that i can believe that i am loveable

step one...

i've been standing by the side of someone that doesn't know i'm there.  he says he loves me, but what he loves is my financial support...so i'm moving on.  i've taken the first painful step, and i know that it will get better as time goes on.  and i love him and wish him the best, but it's time for me to wish myself the best...

todays dream: seek out only healthy and fulfilling relationships.

into the rabbit hole...

this was my poor attempt at starting to take more pictures. i took crappy photos with my phone under the pressure of getting one posted by the end of any given day for a few weeks and then wasn't really accomplishing what i set out to do and gave up.  this is a perfect example of what i do in my life.  so here is my new beginning.  this is going to be where i plot out my weight loss, post photos of things i am proud of, tell stories of places i go and things i do, and this is where i will follow my dreams instead of recounting my nightmares...

todays dream: goal weight: 135