chili

1lb pork sausage
1lb ground turkey
1 green pepper
1 yellow onion
1/2 lb black beans
1/2 lb red beans
1 lb pinto beans
2 clove garlic
1 jalepeno
chili powder
28 oz canned tomato
16 oz southwest (spicy) canned tomato
cumin
pepper
salt
cinnamon
curry
basil
pepper
garlic powder
cayenne pepper

starting over...

i have a hard time believing that anyone really loves me, because i was told growing up that no one ever would; that i was unloveable...

todays dream: that i can believe that i am loveable

step one...

i've been standing by the side of someone that doesn't know i'm there.  he says he loves me, but what he loves is my financial support...so i'm moving on.  i've taken the first painful step, and i know that it will get better as time goes on.  and i love him and wish him the best, but it's time for me to wish myself the best...

todays dream: seek out only healthy and fulfilling relationships.

into the rabbit hole...

this was my poor attempt at starting to take more pictures. i took crappy photos with my phone under the pressure of getting one posted by the end of any given day for a few weeks and then wasn't really accomplishing what i set out to do and gave up.  this is a perfect example of what i do in my life.  so here is my new beginning.  this is going to be where i plot out my weight loss, post photos of things i am proud of, tell stories of places i go and things i do, and this is where i will follow my dreams instead of recounting my nightmares...

todays dream: goal weight: 135

day 28...recovering from fair food

day 27...got lettuce?

day 26...housesitting

day 25...nailed

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day 24?

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day 23?

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day 22...bedtime

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day 21...rum no coke please, bartender

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day 20...it's about the price not the picture

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day 19...soon to be the past

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day 18...toledo: never again

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day 17...out of focus at the gas pump

day 16...the face of disappointment...

day 15...guilty pleasures

day 14...shoes: my original obsession

day 13...I can see clearly now...

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day 12...i see the light

day 11...prickly beauty...

day 10...spicy

day 9....always bad

day 8...stairway to a smaller waist

day 7...the world in your eyes...

day 6...weathering the storm...

day 5...the beautifully crooked tree

day 4...happy hour 10-11...

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day 3...macabre

day 2...and already i almost forgot...

before the start...but after...

it was suggested to me that i should write an introduction.  quite simply i have decided to join a friend in taking and posting one photo a day for the next 23weeks...or 161 days...mine will be here, you may comment, you may critique.  they are here for the purpose of giving me a bit of focus on a daily basis, but i am always happy to improve my skills along the way...if you post anonymously please send me a message and reveal yourself...from here on out i intend for this to be a mostly visual place...an alternate universe where i am a woman of few words...

...and it begins...