i had a great birthday...got a great new dress and shoes, went out with a group of friends that were not the ones i was expecting to show up and got really drunk, and was in a great mood...he didn't show up, and i asked him for clarification.  and it was what i expected, and was ignoring, which is that he just wants a platonic relationship...it made me sad, but also makes me glad that he still wants to be friends with me even though he's seen the crazy girl me that i turn in to when i like someone...i really like him, and he's someone that i want to know, in whatever context he's willing to know me...even though i know it's going to take a lon time for me to move past this...