Addendums and such...

I'm back and forth, not on my feelings, but on my perception of what I'm willing to hope for in reaction to my feelings.  My best friends husband told me recently that things would work out for me; they always do...and it was inspirational in a way...and a couple of days later when I landed the new job, I shared my appreciation of the statement with him...and he said "well, it's not like we were talking about relationships...those never work out"...and it was funny cause it's true, but after a little bit of time to let the words settle, the truth in that statement makes me sad. And he wasn't even around for the worst of them...and how dare I hope when the past has proven that I should simply marry my job and find happiness in solitude...

shhh...

My heart skips a beat, races, drops into my stomach
refuses to be ignored or pushed aside
so the challenge is to keep it disconnected from my mouth

colorful jingles

this is the first piece of jewelry someone picked out for me...any gift would have been special, but this has special significance...because i'm a girl...and we like jewelry...

still chasing the rabbit

the rabbit is always running, and she chases it no matter how many times it gets away...and she never catches up, she never finds what she is looking for, but she still runs after that rabbit every single time...and here i am...still chasing, still trying to catch up, still trying to convince the rabbit to take me on the adventure...and not leave me behind...

drinks after midnight

it happens all the time
just a couple minutes
a few fleeting moments
my head on your shoulder
room filled with our laughter
my heart filled with hope
then the memory of those words
the moment of truth
clarity, rejection, denial
and you're just a nice guy
and i'm just an optimistic girl
hoping...for you to change your mind