I'm back and forth, not on my feelings, but on my perception of what I'm willing to hope for in reaction to my feelings. My best friends husband told me recently that things would work out for me; they always do...and it was inspirational in a way...and a couple of days later when I landed the new job, I shared my appreciation of the statement with him...and he said "well, it's not like we were talking about relationships...those never work out"...and it was funny cause it's true, but after a little bit of time to let the words settle, the truth in that statement makes me sad. And he wasn't even around for the worst of them...and how dare I hope when the past has proven that I should simply marry my job and find happiness in solitude...
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